Sista Friend

So, I would like to take the time out from 'healthy living' and the daily shenanigans of my crazy life and dedicate this post to my very own....

Sister friend!

Let me me introduce her....

This is my sister Jessica. http://www.jessandtheboys.com/2012/07/six-months-old.html (is where you can follow her and her three rascals). She is fun, smart, happy, loving, dedicating and shall I say a hard worker with well, three rascals at home? Also, a mommy, a sister (obvi), daughter, wifey, granddaughter, cousin, niece...shall I go on, you get the hint.

All my life I have thought of my sister as a role model and someone to look up to. It's the typical sister relationship where the little, annoying sister wants to do everything her big sister does (and wears)! However, she has half my closet too so it goes back ways! 

Well, the reason I am dedicating this post to her is because I just moved out of her house today and I wanted to make this a chance to not only tell her (because I know she is reading this with a smile on her face, maybe laughing too) but to the whole wide world, or perhaps maybe just the friends and family of mine that read my blogs, how thankful and blessed I am to have my sister. Yes, she has been there my entire life but I have really had the chance to understand and know my sister in a whole new light. I have learned all the things she likes and dislikes, YES--I have learned her biggest pet peeves, her tendencies like how she usually needs her coffee in the morning before getting down and dirty with the sticky, muddy kids all day, or one of her many favorite shows Grey's Anatomy that we would enjoy watching every Thursday night. One season finale of Grey's we watched we actually had to watch on a little tiny computer screen in the front room to get away from the loud, (annoying) football game her hubby would not stop watching. So, you can imagine our teary eyed faces 2 inches from the computer screen the moment 007 was written on Marideths hand revealing that the unidentified man was George O'Malley!!! (Yeah, we are huge Grey's fans..don't judge.) Our sudden phase of swap meet Wednesdays when I would come home from soccer conditioning and we would pack up the kids, stop at subway for DC and chocolate chip cookies and head on over the Calexico's Swap Meet! Yeah, if you live there you would know that that's where all the 'cool kids' hang out! I have also seen her be a great mommy and raise her boys the way I would like to raise my future children..far, far, very far down the line! And as well being a great wife that I pray to be someday..hopefully not as far away as children!

Thank you sister for being there for me! 

Have a great night everyone!!

Day 1: Morning Workout

Happy Monday!  


So, I woke up at 7 and put on my favorite workout pants, running shoes, took a puff from my inhaler (*or else I'll die*) and ran my butt off on that tred! I actually found a picture on Pinterest that I was wanting to try. Let me just say-It's called killer Kardio for a reason!! If we're being honest here, I didn't end up finishing the last five reps because I found myself lying on the floor afterwards for sometime looking like a dead person! There is no way you can do this and not break a sweat! Try  it and let me know if you're more out of shape than I am!

                Yes, my inhaler says "Don't Die!"


Recap: For those that have not read yesterdays post I am starting a new workout and diet plan. I am very excited and pumped! I am pretty sure I am going to follow weight watchers again but also really change a lot of my regular eating habits. I will confess, I am a diet coke addict and will slowly shy myself away from it because I know if I cut it out right off the bat then I will binge and fall back t my regular bad habit. Also, loading up on veggies! It's sad, I am like a kid that won't eat my veggies on my plate served to me. I am basically worse than my three year old nephew. Whenever I begin a diet and working out phase I always end up going all out and working my butt off the first week and by the second week I am so burnt out that I forget the thought of working out and walk to the fridge. So, I am going to start out slow and steady. I am not going to force myself too hard the first couple workouts. I can't wait to get to a gym to begin zumba to dance my booty off then go to yoga to collect my thoughts and work on balance.  


Also, I found a blog that has really inspired me to not only get myself into a healthy routine but to be organized in my new healthy lifestyle. There are very helpful tips I found that are really going to help me this summer. All my friends are coming home from college and I know there will be traditional get together at Denny's so to avoid from eating unhealthy I need to ask questions how something I am curious about eating is made. Example- "Oh, it's smothered in bacon and butter?" Well, whatever that is sounds great but won't be so great the moment I step on the scale the next morning! My problem is, when there is a really yummy treat floating around the house I would love to lay my hands on it, however if I do I will not want to stop once I take that first bite so I rather just avoid it altogether which is something I need to remember when I am at a party. I am learning all these new things. I always thought a healthy lifestyle sounds so boring. You have to constantly worry about what you're taking in, you will stand out in the party when you order a salad for dinner and everyone else orders ribs, fried chicken, and pasta! Also, you worry constantly about the next day for the nail biting weigh in. Well! I realized that it doesn't have to be like that. You can enjoy what you're eating still even if it isn't dipped in oil and butter, you can still have a social life while eating healthy, and perhaps even the rest of the fam bam will jump on the healthy eating boat with you to make it ten times easier! It's a choice, you either do it or you don't. 


By all these healthy food changes I am making I am also realizing, well I do go to the movies a lot with friends...then what with the buttery popcorn calling my name left and right?! I can still have fun without shoving a 1000 calories into my mouth (literally a 1000, I'm not exaggerating). It's actually more than six McDonald cheeseburgers. I'm not trying to freak you out because I am guilty for smacking down on movie theater popcorn during a great movie too. However, to avoid extra calories pop your own 100 calorie popcorn before the movie and bring healthy snacks, hide it in your purse ladies! 


Another bad thing I do is I tend to not drink enough water. I literally can go days without water. It's awful! So, to force me to drink more water I was inspired by the same blog. 









Make the times on your bottles goals to work toward to drink the amount before the time on it. Did I explain that right? Anyways, this is a great way to not only drink more water throughout the day but keep track of how much you're drinking all day while running around and working. You can buy these bottles at Home Goods.


I am excited to learn all these new things about the food I am eating and eventually try yummy, healthy recipes that I can share with all of you. I have to try them all first before they are blogging worthy! Please let me know any helpful tips you have for me or information that I'll need along the way. 


Happy Monday everyone!!

The Fight

For once it hasn't taken me an entire week to create a post! That's because this girl...has no life! 


Well, let me just tell you...today is the day of change.  


...Let me explain...


This will be the most challenging post to write about but I will do my very best! For a very long time, I've always struggled with my weight and appearance. I have always had low self esteem. I was the quiet girl in school that was called the 'angel' which is nice and all but it's only because I was too afraid to step out of my little bubble I created to keep from the thought of people judging me constantly. Don't get me wrong, I had my moments of being hyper in class and getting in trouble for talking, I had a boyfriend or two in high school, and I was the 2010 Homecoming Queen. I'm not the quiet, lonely girl in the corner completely!! However, my appearance and uneasiness in my own skin left me feeling like I needed to diet and work out to feel like a 'normal' teenager trying to fit in. I was the goalkeeper for the high school soccer team all four years...I was basically the shit. However, goalies are known for being burly which I was ...I was and still am not a petite fragile, little girl. I was and still am thick. I honestly cannot count on one hand how many times I have picked up and dropped a diet. It got to a certain point when I just dropped the whole 'diet' phase altogether...

                                                            Me on my graduation day


It was when my little brother was diagnosed with cancer my senior year of high school. I remember the morning I found out when my dad woke me up early to have a family meeting which we never have so immediately knew something was wrong.


"Your brother has cancer, Teresa."


"WTF?" went through my mind because if you know my brother, you know he is a healthy fit, strong football player. I would have never thought in a bazillion years! I just looked at my brother and he said, "It's okay Tee, you know I am strong and will get through this."


From that day, I have known how strong my brother is. However, I realized how weak I am considering the fact I pushed all my friends away because of what was happening in my family. Also and more importantly, I was weak because the amount of food I literally shoved into my mouth to get my focus off of the fact my brother is lying in a hospital bed with no hair on his face or head. Which in  fact, led to more problems!


I was battling even more with my weight!


At the end of my senior year, the same time I was accepted to the college I was dying to go to which was Northern Arizona University , we also were blessed with terrific news from my brothers doctor.


"Anthony, you're cancer free."


Those words sank into my heart, releasing an enormous amount of heartache and pain from my body that has been stored for several months. That being how I felt, I can't imagine the feeling my brother had at that moment.


In August of 2010, I was already to start my college life at NAU. I met so many amazing people, had many unforgettable times with my best friends; Melanie, Sarah, Sheridon, Brooke, and Imran. It was an amazing time. However, those amazing times conflicted with my not-so amazing grades. I thought long and hard about staying and not telling my parents how badly I was doing in school or just suck it up and put on my big girl panties and be somewhere that I can put my focus on school and my future. Well, that only left me going home to go to community college and living with the best Nana ever. Well, half of that happened...for a little while.

                                              Me, Brooke, Sheridon, Melanie, Sarah


I said my goodbyes to college friends and NAU and said hello to Alpine, ca.


I didn't realize coming home from NAU would be a complete shock and a feeling of lose. I suddenly, felt like a complete loser coming home from an amazing university with no job lined up or school. I had absolutely nothing. My friends were gone at college. My family members all have their own lives that won't stop because mine has. I just remember lying in my Nana's bed thinking, "good job Teresa, now what?"


Well, later that summer I spent sometime with my Grandma and Grandpa that are from Coalinga which is near Fresno. They offered me and best friend (not friend at all anymore) Bianca (name change because I'm not a complete asshole)  into their home to go to a Certified Nursing School that my Aunt Erin would get us into really easily. Well, it was easy and quick because a few weeks later we were scrambling to pack our bags and call Coalinga our home for 3 months!


It felt like the perfect thing; moving with my best friend, the chance to spend a lot of needed time with Grandma and Grandpa, cousins, and Aunties, also having the feeling that I am finally starting my nursing career. It was great...for awhile. I worked my ass off and finally was valedictorian of the CNA class which was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me because I have always just barely skimmed by the classes I take. So, basically I gained a lot of weight in Coalinga because late night snacks and a huge cup of sugary coffee while studying all night sounded very much needed at the time. Nutella and peanut butter sandwiches came into my life there and so did amazing Italian food that my amazing Chef Grandpa would cook up for us after a long day of clinicals. He's an amazing cook. I learned how to make delicious pizza from scratch because of him! I love me some Italian food!


Anyways, I should have been rolled off the stage after my valedictorian speech. I became even more uncomfortable in my skin. But you know what, I just became a CNA and I am valedictorian which is proving to everyone that 'hey I am a smart person after all!!!' so I am not going to let anyone bring me down. Until a few days later when I was sexually abused. This part puts a pain in the middle of stomach that might have to be a future post when I am ready for it. The abuse has brought me so many different emotions that has once again made me feel that food is my only cushion. Sometimes I feel like I am forcing a smile on my face to make myself 'normal' to everyone around me. Even doing that, I know I wasn't being or seeming normal to anyone. I would hear I don't have the 'sparkle in my eye anymore I used to have' or 'you aren't happy go lucky anymore'. If you have never met me, I was always smiling or laughing, I love making people feel good about themselves, and I am always going, going, going non stop. Now, I can literally lay on the couch all day long...that actually sounds like a good day to me. I felt nowhere near normal. I felt like a zombie following people around physically but mentally I am not really there. I more then ever do not feel comfortable in my own skin to the point I no longer where bikinis to the beach or swimming. I am NOT myself anymore and I am tired of this unfamiliar Teresa person!!!


So, today I woke up and prayed then thought "Teresa, you do not need to live like this anymore. You are almost 20 years old, healthy (somewhat), young, and have your whole life ahead of you. Make a change!!" Which reminds me, the last few months after the abuse I have been forcing myself to search for someone or something that can just take all the pain and sadness away. Well, I just all of a sudden realized....no one can take away what happen and no one can take away the pain. I kept praying, "please Lord, just send me that one guy that you created only for me to come into my life to tell me everything is going to be okay." Well, that's fricking cheesy now that I actually wrote it down just now. Please excuse my cheesiness. I would also pray the line from Forrest Gump, "Please God, make me a bird so I can fly far, far away!" No, I have not found the man of my dreams nor have I become a bird.


Today being the day I decided to make a change I am packing up my clothes from my sisters and moving back to Nana's in a few days. I know the first thing on my list to fix me is to start working out and plan a diet that I can go long term with, not just the next 24 hours like I normally do. I am ready to get back to who I used to be and an even better me. A new, refreshed, and fit Teresa that has a brighter sparkle in my eye than before. I hope to give myself to people in ways that I can help any way possible. I want to become a stronger, happier person like my cancer survivor brother is today. To kick off this new chapter in my life that you are reading, I would like to announce I am getting my first membership at a gym in Alpine and will be planning a healthy food calender that I can find on Pinterest to pinspire me! I will be posting my success in my posts in the future along with my set back's because God knows there will be many of those!! Don't shy away because I promise I won't become that obnoxious person that announces everyday that I either gained or lost weight or how fat I am in all my pictures and the clothes I wear. Real talk-those people are *ucking annoying! This will be a healthy lifestyle change that I have needed for some time now.

                                     Nervous yet pumped for this new, challenging new chapter






I will someday post about the abuse and what I have learned from it when the time is right and when people want to hear about it. I hope to learn from it enough to make it into a positive message to teenage girls one day. That will be coming to you soon!! 


Thanks for reading my life story, keep in touch everyone(:

~~Life is a Beach~~

Well, hello there!!! 

So my last post was about a week ago bragging about my vacation at the beach for the 4Th of July. 

It was soooo relaxing! 

A little recap- My family and I spent a week at Silver Strand with about 30 or so other family members there. We all slept in trailers/hotels and only a hop, skip, and a jump away from the sandy beach! We drank, we ate, we laughed, and we played. It was a fantastic time. 

Some pictures for you! (:

                                                
                                                                 We're HERE!

Thank you Pinterest!

My dad

My awesome parents

My uncles

Teething nephew, AKA not happy!

Drinks...mm, mm good!

He can live on the beach and be the happiest kid ever!

  A table of food that seemed unending!! Oh, and six different dishes of ribs..because, well we're American!!

                                                       Extremely large marshmallows!
                                 
                                     Jacuzzi time with Jackie, my brothers Kellee and Anthony
                                 
I miss the beach already! It was overcast some of the time but even being overcast it was nice being at the beach, cuddled up in a nice blanket while drinking some hot coffee (or something else). We came home sandy, tired, and still on vacation mode which means we barely started cleaning out the trailer today...we actually didn't finish. We decided to take on the task little by little! What's the rush?!


And of course, I got called in for an interview at Nautica literally five minutes after arriving at the beach. It's funny because my interview was on Tuesday so I went home Monday night, sick as hell may I remind you, woke up in the morning with no voice and only a bathing suite to wear to my interview. Could you picture me  now walking in with only a bathing suite on to my interview? Just so you know,  that would never happen! So, shopping it was! I found a really cute, on sale dress at Dress Barn where a very helpful associate helped me find all the sales. I bought really cute heels that unfortunately gave me 3 blisters on each foot--not so cute! However, being sick and having found an outfit last minute I still managed to pull myself together for the interview and kicked a*s! I am crossing my fingers I get a call back! Maybe I'd had better luck with the swim suite...I joke, I joke!


I just want to say after having an early start on motherhood, having 4 crazy children, having a job that involves an enormous amount of stress, loosing an incredible amount of weight meanwhile graduating and becoming a teacher...I couldn't have a better motivator nor an inspirational leader to look up to more than my mama. Sometimes, I don't appreciate her enough but she deserves so much. She is such a strong woman. After I came back from the interview, the family and I surprised my mom with a cap and gown to wear while she walks down the sandy beach lit up with tiki torches to celebrate her graduating as well as champagne glasses all around! I am super proud of her and couldn't ask for a stronger, more motivated mother! I love you!
Congrats Mrs. Gonzales!



We ended the vacation on the night of 4th of July huddled all together under blankets next to a bonfire and eating s'mores while watching fireworks. We told scary stories and played funny games! It was an amazing time spent with loved ones. 


NOW, back to reality--BOOOOO!! 


I am moving out of my sisters house so by the end of the week you are sure to see pictures of my room empty (at least semi empty), but for now I'm sitting here almost done with this post knowing I should probably start packing something however I know I am going to end up playing with my nephew or get caught up on Facebook. You will read more about the moving details in the next post!


I hope everyone had a wonderful time on the 4th of July. I'm sure your recovery from the hangover is over by now...if not, it was a damn good 4th!! Stop by and tell me what you did!